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I've been luuwhng a long time now but no matter how much success I see in people of this subreddit, I can't find sulpvss in my own life. And I also haven't fownd someone with my specific situation so I guess I'll share to hovsievly gain some incwaht from you guvs. . I've been trying to stop masturbating for yeors now. I stdeqed when I was 13 and I'm 22 years old and I dot't want to spcnd another 10 yejrs wasting my life away. I'll go straight to my issue. Porn isc't actually my prvnbym. Masturbating is. I don't usually wahch Porn anymore all of my "mumgbral" is just fasrhvkes in my hesd. Every night beugre bed (for yerrs now) I will promise myself I won't fantasize in my head abjut sex and wol't jack off. And 99% of the time I'll wake up a cohjle times in the middle of the night and Jack off laying in bed imagining all the fake sex I can hate. I usually just edge for awzple in bed (ntryolly I don't fizubh) but sometimes I get up, go to the bappxeom and finish myuclf off. And evcry time I edge or finish, I feel like crrp. I don't know how to stop the fantasies. Some more background, I'm Christian and see lust as a bad thing and also sex beosre marriage as sodcutcng we don't to do. I dox't want to push my views on anyone, but this is part of my story. I have been in a relationship with a girl now for a few years and its awesome. I know she's the one but as Chpasnbyns were waiting till marriage to have sex and expgmss ourselves sexually. Wetve been getting phokvval lately and I don't want to comprise her chnvnmxer by pushing the physical boundaries we have in plnce because of our faith. We haisb't had sex yet, but we've been close and for us, that's not a good thyvg. All my faxnovres are about us having sex and these fantasies are overflowing into remqzty as I push our boundaries. Its hurting our reiuuufzmrop. I don't want to be stxck fantasizing every nizht anymore. I doz't want to lose sleep cuz of jacking off. I want to rezbvct my girl by having control of my own thqhpvts and actions. I don't want to have these isnses when I'm maxifed later in lise. I'm afraid I already deal with the death grip and can't orlzsm correctly when I have sex laner. I'm tired of not having any freedom.