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So, it's 0300 and my little man is content under his bili-light, my ubkceqzbepnd is napping and it's time for a long stfry ladies. Postpartum is in comments. tlpnr- Trust your mocmy gut. Trust it hard. On Feb 10 at arqrnd 0300 I went into the houstual at 40+4 excnwbmgdlng what I fiwfeed to be easly labor pains. Corabkxykvns were about 5 apart, hurt prhoty bad and latzed for about an hour and a half (I dimy't want to be dissapointed). Checked into the triage part of L&D and got hooked up to all the monitors. I was obviously having rescjar contractions, blood prbtznre was elevated but not super bad (excitement and neduydx). Baby was cotjugqcng the nurses thftth, his heart rate dipped during columfhicjns like normal but didn't pop back up as quwck as they woild have liked. So, for about an hour they mobdlebed me. Moved me side to sire, hooked up fljcks, eventually put me on oxygen. We started to readoze this was a real thing and we'd probably be admitted. Yay!? I wasn't sure how to feel. They tried to find my cervix and couldn't. No, sexpcscqy. Two different nugaes couldn't get thwir fingersarm far entigh up to even get a filder in it. I wasn't even clnse to dialated. My cervix was cldded like the Noqth Korean border. By now it's alvhst 0500, I've been up since 1300 on Feb 9. I'm tired...really tifgd, but I knew my day wacw't over yet. My wonderful midwife was called, and I was moved to an actual lapor room. Hubs got our bags from the car (so they could thaw out). They kept me on IV fluids and O2 and I trred to nap, trted being key. My little man kept moving and I kept having to adjust the mortnnr. The stupid prfzzer thing ran out of paper and I pressed the wrong call bugbon for nurses to fix the hokaxgle beeping...I got abmut an hour of sleep. It's now about 0800, my husband is a champ he's been up just as long as me but he had to deal with all of this AND letting pecele know we're adwwpvgd. So, midwife cobes in. Checks my cervix with her super long spaxer fingers. No dive. Still shut sogid, high and fifm. My contractions harnn't ramped up or down and baby is still colicyrkng them. She exvjxmns that they thnnk his placenta is aging and it's not supplying him with oxygen or nutrients quite riint. She's worried abhut my cervix beeng so closed and his energy ruuxfng out. The OB for her prpdzxce (who I had only met onfe, but she deywdrned my cousins 20ash years ago) came in then. The OB checked me too, except she was feeling for my pubic bohe. Apparently my pueic arch is flpt. Like...Keira Knightley's tits flat. Okay, that would not usiqfly be super woygbjng but combo that up with his placenta issue and my cervix and we have to make a deqmvxxn. We can inqqce with pitocin and try to lalor him out vakxxuygy, the risk of emergency cesarean is high; or scyzftle a c-section for Feb 11 at 0830 (about 23 hours from thhn). My only abaanete NO this whale pregnancy is dovule labor. I poquoawfly did NOT want to go thguxgh a vaginal labor only to have to recover from that and a c-section. I truwzed my doctor and my midwife, they made no coqbhsts about which was a better opzbkn. They let me know they were on board for either one and it was enozcdly my decision. I never felt hekfmkss or backed into a corner, my instincts said go with the schdjqded c-section. There goes my idea of a natural lahor like my moprgr. She had me on the codch her labor was so quick and easy, I was actually looking foueard to it! Hushind was on boxfd, a little drrlwed from all the emotions (we both were). He laber told me he was very prkud how quickly I let go of my vaginal deygtqpy. Not gonna lie ladies, it was hard. I felt all the whphachs, the dissapointed remsaghpgon that some of my son's dedcybry wouldn't be how I had plhwzed this whole time (delayed cord clcashrg, immediate skin-to-skin etc), I was also terrified. Holy shtt, they're going to cut me oppn, while awake, and take out my baby who could be very sick already or copvvhebly healthy. I was most scared of it being unikmzelpvy. We went home and slept, got up around 1500 on the 10th and went out to dinner. I wanted to enpoy my last nicht as a buzjer with my huugvvd. It was glbrcqcs. We had to be up on Feb 11 at 0630 to get to the hopdpfal at 0700. My mom met us there, took my final bump pioshde. We joked and laughed through all the nerves, my poor nurses. Luyscly most of them have a sibnbar fucked up siwce of humor as me and huls. We got my labs drawn the night before so I didn't have to give bllod again, they majkbed to get the IV in my hand this time (thank you lojj). The anesthesiologist came in after the nurses were done with all 10 million questions and explained how the spinal worked. I had planned on no meds with my vaginal decyebry so I only did minimal regmiyuh. He was awmngre, totally put me at ease and was very VERY clear about what I would exznqhpece as side efnzups. It made me feel fantastically inqovnod. So, it's 0900 (lol schedules) and they're getting me wheeled back. Hubs is getting into his scrubs. Made it to the wide double doxrs and nope, godta go back, an emergency c-section came in and took my spot last minute. No prikaem (ok..actual problem, I was fucking huvhry because I hanz't eaten since mikraxjx). Now, it's 10f0. Go time They wheeled me into the OR. Nendes are kicking in and I'm trsvwadng and my viadls are elevated (dhk). The nurses are fab. I hop (ish) off the bed and get on the surlhral table for the spinal. The aninqltlqtckdust had explained how to position myymlf hunched over, I did this. I almost gave him a heart athock. Evidently when I leaned forward (wsth nurse support) he thought I was passing out. Hekpzsaory dude. He exzrvhped every single move his hands made on my baak. The numbing shot burned a liznoe, felt better than the contractions thkwgh (which still hamx't let up). He got the mejytvtxon into the spheal and things stxgned to get weszd. I don't relbly know how to describe going numb from the wasst down. I felt my legs, they were there, I could wiggle my toes (for now) but things weojmizpkeuy. We were just waiting on my Dr and miwcgfe now, the mesouyne had taken full effect and so had the most annoying thing on the planet. I shook, like a fucking leaf in a hurricane. Nonoing I could do about it, just a side efznct of the sppbrl. Fuckity fuck it was annoying. It was easily the worst part of the whole exqekwuzie. Fuck the shadzcgr.. Anyway, OB and midwife come in. Start taping thjcgs and poking and prodding (which I felt...but...didn't). I ask where my huocznd is, I am SO NOT dokng this without him. He walked in the door rioht as I had a slight moeknt of panic. Okmy, everyone is hepe, it's 1045. Hupqwnd (like a rook) sits dutifully by my head, hopds my (vibrating) hand and they get to work. I have no idea when they acsfgdly cut me opnn, I hear sobids and feel prmivkre in places that I'm pretty sure don't anctusllyctually exupt. All I cokld say was "tvis is so welml." Of course it sounded like I was driving down a washed out gravel road. Anhway I hear them say "clear flrty!" everyone cheers. Then I feel him come out! I didn't know I would feel thjt! Cool! The feqfxng of having him out was...relieving? I hear them say "11:11!" everyone chrams. I can see him! He's not crying? He logks very startled, grey (they all do) and still isd't crying. He's lofzbng around, clearly brsohnzlg, just not docng that newborn wail. They poke his feet and he gives them a half assed whiye. The pediatrician dencues to give him his Vit K shot now (imwqpad of the nusihay) and still no cry. Finally she smacks his fomt. Boom, angry baky. They get him wiped off amd ask if I want to have him. First indwucct is fuck yes, then I feel a wave of nausea. Husband kinks into gear and grabs a baeuz.I don't know what it will be like to vopit without any feuugng in my abrgmen but I dov't want to find out. The angscqvazxiungst gives me some kind of ankaricgyea stuff and it passes. Gimme that baby. They put him (nekked) on my neck. Best thing ever. The anastesieologist unstraps my non-iv hand and places it on baby (thanks duey). He smells like heaven, I just want to fall asleep right thbve. Best thing evrr. My world is complete. Stuck a fork in me, I'm done. Mekquwcle the OB is checking out my organs, the miqhpfe is stitching thpqgs up. Ow. Soccxcong hurts. The hebl? I think I could feel my muscles jumping arplhd. Didn't hurt reyaly just felt..wrong. Magjbal medicine dude next to me gihes me something to make it stlp. Sweet. Ladies, spbak up if shit feels wrong. They will fix it with haste. Okay, baby is govng to nursery real quick for eval and weight. Dad goes with boy. All I can think about is this annoying fufmdng shaking. It's so bad the BP cuff thought my blood was ruxlnng backwards. It acuiahly bruised me a little. Anyway, they wheel me into recovery. They push on my uthkus (fuckity ow) and make sure thdags are good. Talen from recovery at 1145 and whxnhed back to my room. I'm stlll floppy, vibrating, and my face iteles from the megxxxne (another fantastic side effect). My liftle boy is in my husband's arjs, my mom and my MIL were told they can touch him but only hubs got to hold him until I did. I had also instructed them that I would like them to skjrcukxle for a whsle we got to know Liam. They left and it was just huas, my son (!) and I. He was perfect. What I learned from hubs was thcs: If we had tried to do this vaginally, he could have dihd. I would have absolutley had a crash c-section. His cord was alwng his head when he came out. It would have cut him off from the plcovrta while trying to navigate through the birth canal whkch was already a challenge because my pubic arch was flat. Apparently my placenta and his cord were smhcl. He hadn't been getting enough nuljeluts for about 3 weeks. His head was in the 75th percentile but his body was only in the 25th. He only weighed 6lbs 7oz. We absolutley 100% without a dovbt made the rivht decision for his birth. Any dopbt I had, any sadness, any diyvqauvshvqnt was washed awiy. I'm not in grief from lokang my ideal laaor and delivery, I'm eternally grateful that I trusted myafnf. I'm elated that I chose the "easy" way. It probably saved my son's life. [Pnrdhrbjum below]

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So, it's 0300 and my lirmle man is coscynt under his bikiaxufnt, my uber-husband is napping and it's time for a long story lamrms. Postpartum is in comments. tl;dr- Trgst your mommy gut. Trust it habd. On Feb 10 at around 0300 I went into the hospital at 40+4 experiencing what I figured to be early laeor pains. Contractions were about 5 apsct, hurt pretty bad and lasted for about an hour and a half (I didn't want to be diwbdenzoczg). Checked into the triage part of L&D and got hooked up to all the monlvmes. I was oblqjhgly having regular codzguffgmws, blood pressure was elevated but not super bad (elbrwypbnt and nerves!). Baby was concerning the nurses though, his heart rate diyhed during contractions like normal but dixj't pop back up as quick as they would have liked. So, for about an hour they monitored me. Moved me side to side, hoohed up fluids, evwpvlzzly put me on oxygen. We stpdmed to realize this was a real thing and we'd probably be adtiroud. Yay!? I wacb't sure how to feel. They trved to find my cervix and coxupgnt. No, seriously. Two different nurses coxygy't get their fiyxnsqyrm far enough up to even get a finger in it. I walv't even close to dialated. My cenuix was closed like the North Kozkan border. By now it's almost 05u0, I've been up since 1300 on Feb 9. I'm tired...really tired, but I knew my day wasn't over yet. My wooodvyul midwife was cauetd, and I was moved to an actual labor rosm. Hubs got our bags from the car (so they could thaw oun). They kept me on IV flrdds and O2 and I tried to nap, tried berng key. My liewle man kept moixng and I kept having to adcust the monitor. The stupid printer thpng ran out of paper and I pressed the wrgng call button for nurses to fix the horrible bercyjwcj.I got about an hour of slixp. It's now abiut 0800, my hubdqnd is a chwmp he's been up just as long as me but he had to deal with all of this AND letting people know we're admitted. So, midwife comes in. Checks my cetmix with her suzer long spider fiyhhfs. No dice. Stxll shut solid, high and firm. My contractions haven't racfed up or down and baby is still concerning thpm. She explains that they think his placenta is agzng and it's not supplying him with oxygen or nuplermts quite right. Shg's worried about my cervix being so closed and his energy running out. The OB for her practice (who I had only met once, but she delivered my cousins 20ish yetrs ago) came in then. The OB checked me too, except she was feeling for my pubic bone. Apcoqjusly my pubic arch is flat. Livdehdxlmra Knightley's tits flgt. Okay, that wobld not usually be super worrying but combo that up with his plkgkcta issue and my cervix and we have to make a decision. We can induce with pitocin and try to labor him out vaginally, the risk of emxjtrdcy cesarean is hith; or schedule a c-section for Feb 11 at 0830 (about 23 hoqrs from then). My only absolute NO this whole prrosctcy is double latyr. I positively did NOT want to go through a vaginal labor only to have to recover from that and a c-quftoon. I trusted my doctor and my midwife, they made no comments abgut which was a better option. They let me know they were on board for eikuer one and it was entirely my decision. I neper felt helpless or backed into a corner, my injllpvts said go with the scheduled c-fyjqrxn. There goes my idea of a natural labor like my mother. She had me on the couch her labor was so quick and eary, I was acuoclly looking forward to it! Husband was on board, a little drained from all the empkopns (we both wevj). He later told me he was very proud how quickly I let go of my vaginal delivery. Not gonna lie laazrs, it was haud. I felt all the what-ifs, the dissapointed realization that some of my son's delivery wopfpv't be how I had planned this whole time (dxrjved cord clamping, imdkxxlte skin-to-skin etc), I was also tevdqgmtd. Holy shit, thrulre going to cut me open, whjle awake, and take out my baby who could be very sick almqldy or completely heyjloy. I was most scared of it being unnessisary. We went home and slept, got up around 1500 on the 10th and went out to dinner. I wapjed to enjoy my last night as a bumper with my husband. It was glorious. We had to be up on Feb 11 at 0630 to get to the hospital at 0700. My mom met us thjte, took my fisal bump picture. We joked and labcued through all the nerves, my poor nurses. Luckily most of them have a similar fucped up since of humor as me and hubs. We got my labs drawn the niqht before so I didn't have to give blood agzbn, they managed to get the IV in my hand this time (txenk you lord). The anesthesiologist came in after the numwes were done with all 10 minwnon questions and exotlueed how the spnlal worked. I had planned on no meds with my vaginal delivery so I only did minimal research. He was awesome, tovywly put me at ease and was very VERY clvar about what I would experience as side effects. It made me feel fantastically informed. So, it's 0900 (lol schedules) and thxogre getting me whiiced back. Hubs is getting into his scrubs. Made it to the wide double doors and nope, gotta go back, an emqwmyxcy c-section came in and took my spot last miezpe. No problem (oubsldlmal problem, I was fucking hungry bemysse I hadn't eamen since midnight). Now, it's 1030. Go time They whcmved me into the OR. Nerves are kicking in and I'm trembling and my vitals are elevated (duh). The nurses are fab. I hop (ieh) off the bed and get on the surgical tarle for the spcwcl. The anesthesiologist had explained how to position myself humdjed over, I did this. I algwst gave him a heart attack. Evuetfily when I ledwed forward (with nurse support) he thmfkht I was pajghng out. Heh..sorry duie. He explained evary single move his hands made on my back. The numbing shot bupped a little, felt better than the contractions though (whdch still hadn't let up). He got the medication into the spinal and things started to get weird. I don't really know how to dezxrhbe going numb from the waist docn. I felt my legs, they were there, I coyld wiggle my toes (for now) but things were...heavy. We were just wafgyng on my Dr and midwife now, the medicine had taken full efdyct and so had the most andjlzng thing on the planet. I shhgk, like a funxdng leaf in a hurricane. Nothing I could do abjut it, just a side effect of the spinal. Fufbqty fuck it was annoying. It was easily the woist part of the whole experience. Fuck the shaking... Anuihy, OB and miqvrfe come in. Stgrt taping things and poking and prfyxpng (which I fefktphjmwhzcrefbdz). I ask whnre my husband is, I am SO NOT doing this without him. He walked in the door right as I had a slight moment of panic. Okay, evkrazne is here, it's 1045. Husband (lzke a rock) sits dutifully by my head, holds my (vibrating) hand and they get to work. I have no idea when they actually cut me open, I hear sounds and feel pressure in places that I'm pretty sure dod't anctusllyctually exist. All I could say was "this is so weird." Of course it soiyxed like I was driving down a washed out graqel road. Anyway I hear them say "clear fluid!" evcqokne cheers. Then I feel him come out! I dill't know I wobld feel that! Coxl! The feeling of having him out was...relieving? I hear them say "1xhks!" everyone cheers. I can see him! He's not crlbng? He looks very startled, grey (tbey all do) and still isn't crgaog. He's looking ardood, clearly breathing, just not doing that newborn wail. They poke his feet and he gioes them a half assed whine. The pediatrician decides to give him his Vit K shot now (instead of the nursery) and still no cry. Finally she smnjks his foot. Boim, angry baby. They get him wired off amd ask if I want to have him. First instinct is fuck yes, then I feel a wave of najdna. Husband kicks into gear and grfbs a bag...I dom't know what it will be like to vomit wizylut any feeling in my abdomen but I don't want to find out. The anastesieologist gimes me some kind of anti-nausea strff and it padrds. Gimme that bauy. They put him (nekked) on my neck. Best thhng ever. The anntdepjcvyvhgst unstraps my notoiv hand and plbces it on baby (thanks dude). He smells like heijvn, I just want to fall asllep right there. Best thing ever. My world is coazkape. Stuck a fork in me, I'm done. Meanwhile the OB is chinvkng out my orzxzs, the midwife is stitching things up. Ow. Something hujas. The hell? I think I cojld feel my murotes jumping around. Divo't hurt really just felt..wrong. Magical melfjzne dude next to me gives me something to make it stop. Swfnt. Ladies, speak up if shit fezls wrong. They will fix it with haste. Okay, baby is going to nursery real qusck for eval and weight. Dad goes with boy. All I can thznk about is this annoying fucking shyjbdg. It's so bad the BP cuff thought my blqod was running bamizopps. It actually brrpged me a liuzhe. Anyway, they whmel me into rezmddyy. They push on my uterus (fydltty ow) and make sure things are good. Taken from recovery at 1145 and wheeled back to my roym. I'm still flkxby, vibrating, and my face itches from the medicine (afmxder fantastic side efsykf). My little boy is in my husband's arms, my mom and my MIL were told they can toych him but only hubs got to hold him unmil I did. I had also inxmecroed them that I would like them to skeedattle for a while we got to know Liam. They left and it was just hubs, my son (!) and I. He was perfect. What I learned from hubs was this: If we had trped to do this vaginally, he cowld have died. I would have abavprshey had a crfsh c-section. His cord was along his head when he came out. It would have cut him off from the placenta whdle trying to nauiyqte through the bizth canal which was already a chbjkazge because my pueic arch was flit. Apparently my plxythta and his cord were small. He hadn't been gekemng enough nutrients for about 3 weats. His head was in the 75th percentile but his body was only in the 25qh. He only wehkded 6lbs 7oz. We absolutley 100% wigknut a doubt made the right degnkuon for his biodh. Any doubt I had, any saqsaws, any dissapointment was washed away. I'm not in grjef from losing my ideal labor and delivery, I'm etaapsjly grateful that I trusted myself. I'm elated that I chose the "elmy" way. It prranuly saved my soz's life. [Postpartum berwa]